Zippidy Doo Da

I'm not stupid, I'm from Texas!

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Stop Hitting Me, Guys!

If one is to scan the surface of Texas Blog World lately, the unitiated would assume that a ton a sausage is being grinded in the current legislative session. This has the activists atwitter, and rightly so since this is their bag, but where's the beef?

Garnett Coleman (D-Hou) is mentioned frequently in connection with the idea of a brawnier, tougher, fightin' Dem of today. I think not. When the going was tough in '05, and when Dems should have been going to the mats over SB1, that gutted services to the poor and sick, he was not to be found. As minority head of the relevant committee, he was a big disapointment to me. A self-proclaimed "consumer" of mental health services, was nowhere on the radar. Now, with rumors of his possible greater politcal ambitions, reports are circulating that he has become a hell raiser. A story today (paraphrased):

Big Puke: Y'all better vote on this compromise or your party will never get a vote on your bills.

Coleman: Oh yeah! We'll beat you in the polls!


On a happier note, Frenchmen want to launch a giant banana balloon 100,000 feet in the air over Texas, to mock and deride the foolishness of Texas politics (,72550-0.html?tw=rss.index) that will be 20% as large as the moon. Shades of Monty Python. "I fart in your general direction!"
(thanks to

PRAY FOR MOLLY - we need her now more than ever.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Reefer Madness

Knowing some of Linklater's crew in Austin, this review that appeared at Digby's interested me a lot.

Two Bongs Up! Or, Six Degrees of Woody Harrelson

by Dennis Hartley

Richard Linklater entered the sci-fi arena in 2006 with his adaptation of the late Phillip K. Dick's semi-autobiographical novel A Scanner Darkly(now on DVD). Set in a not-so-distant future L.A., the story injects themes of existential dilemma, drug-fueled paranoia and Orwellian government surveillance (hmm, that's timely) into what is otherwise a fairly standard undercover-cop-who's-gone-too-deep yarn. Keanu Reeves stars as a dazed and confused narc who has become helplessly addicted to the mind-altering drug that he has been assigned to help eradicate ("substance D"). Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder and Linklater alumni Rory Cochrane are his fellow D-heads who may not exactly be whom they appear to be on the surface. Adding to the mood of hallucinatory psychosis is Linklater's controversial use of roto-scoping (as per his underrated Waking Life). The rotoscoping technique does present challenges to the actors; Downey, with his Chaplinesque knack for physical expression, pulls it off best, while the more inert performers like Reeves and Ryder are akin to oil paintings. Linklater's script keeps fairly close to its source material-particularly in relation to the more cerebral elements (Linklater's propensity for lots of talk and little action may be a turn-off for those expecting another Minority Report). Depending on what you bring with you, the film is a) a cautionary tale about addiction, b) a warning about encroaching technocracy, c) an indictment on the government's "war" on drugs, d) a really cool flick to watch while stoned, e) the longest 99 minutes of your life or f) all of the above.

Then Digby goes on to riff on marijuana a bit, and in reflecting that weed films have joined the commonplace, cited the following films:

American Beauty, Weeds - Season One, Traffic, The Big Lebowski, Homegrown, Reefer Madness - The Movie Musical, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Up In Smoke (well, any Cheech & Chong movie), Half Baked, Bongwater, Rockers, Countryman, The Harder They Come , Word, Sound And Power.

I believe a gratitous marijuana smoking scene so that characters can bond, loosen up, break the ice, contemplate the profound, get goofy, or whatever, is in nearly every movie I see. Examples would follow except I'm stoned and can't remember. I've been watching Six Feet Under re-runs with my wife, and the characters seem to be blowing doobies in every other scene.

A recent survey I saw noted that over 90% of individuals have pre-marital sex before age 21. Yet we have abstinence only education in schools. Similarly, with a nudge and wink attitude about pot, we still allow people, especially our children, to be sent to jail. Isn't it about time we frankly discussed our drug use?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

We Love You, Molly

Get well soon. The one-eyed queen in the land of the blind. Terror of bullies. Lover of truth. Please, get well soon.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Chupacabra Report

Not a roundup today, what’s got my goat is seeing Newton Leroy McPherson Gingrich on TV and in the press described as a possible presidential candidate. It’s time for your correspondent do a hatchet job on this rank hypocrite.

Let’s start with little Newtie in high school, where to advance his quest for popularity, poon, and political power, he went out for the football team. His sports career was notable only in that the coach had to send off special to the Riddell Company for a helmet to fit his freakishly large cranium. He did however find romance, carrying on a furtive affair with his geometry teacher.

Newt went on to college, marrying Jackie Battley ( the math teacher) after his freshman year. Jackie Gingrich worked and reared their two children while Newt earned a BS, MS, and PHD. All this gave student/family man Gingrich draft deferments through the Viet Nam war years. This is an unusual background for a war hawk that compares himself to Winston Churchill.

Liberal republican Gingrich worked on Nelson Rockefeller’s campaign in 1968. He took a teaching job at West Georgia College because it was located in Georgia’s 6th Congressional district, held by Jack Flynt, purportedly the weakest member of the Georgia delegation. Newt ran against Flynt and lost, twice.

Newt’s third race is against a moderate, so he becomes a conservative. He’s elected.

It’s 1981 and Newt’s wife has just had cancer surgery. He wants a divorce, shows up at her hospital bed with a legal pad, to work out their settlement. He later refuses to pay alimony and child support. Friends collect money from the First Baptist Church so the family has rent and groceries.

Six months later he marries Marianne Ginter Gingrich. He is cheating on her with a congressional aide while he presides over the republican inquisition into Clinton’s sex life. They divorce and Newt marries the aide, Calista Bisek.

Gingrich hounded Speaker Jim Wright out of office for using “sales” of his book to collect campaign cash. Later, Gingrich seeks a $4.5 million book advance from Australian billionaire Rupert Murdoch, who needs congressional approval to buy a US television network.

The House Ethics Committee fined Newt $300,000 for using non profit money for politics. He finally paid the fine, but later deducted it from his tax bill.

Gingrich left politics before his moral turpitude became widely known. I remember a friend who refused to believe all the sex stuff until I finally showed it to him in the pages of The National Review. (If William F. Buckley says so it must be true.)

Now Newt appears on Murdoch’s Fox news, spouting his elephant shit. He hosted a documentary on Fox called “One Nation Under God.” Funny, that’s a slogan widely flogged by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon and his Unification Church. Moon owns the Washington Times newspaper and Insight magazine, both cheerleaders for the republican right wing.

So if you happen to hear somebody speak about Newt running for president, you might point out that he’s a serial philandering deadbeat father, an unprincipled opportunist chickenhawk who is unfit for decent company, much less public office.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Singers

Lucy Hill, w/ Liquiddaddy, Miguel Dos Pachangas, and Hank Floyd(l to r)Lucy Hill and Hank Floyd 2006
Lucy Hill 2006
Lucy and Hank 2006.

Wait A Minute

I've been pondering for several days why the radio can't play parts of Snake Farm. Although I can't quite figure out why, it's possible that it is the references to violence against women and children: Mom falls dead from grief in "Wiskey"; porn actress snuffed in "Cowboys"; Andrea Yates drowns children in "50/50"; Weimer resident murdered in "Train Killer"; children killed in meth lab explosion in "Montgomery Trace"; women mutilated in abortion clinic bombing "You Ain't Got Me Trained"; woman kidnapped and beaten in "Don't Bother Me," etc.

We are actually protesting these events, not exploiting them for salacious purposes. We have lived our lives condemning these acts, not advocating violence. We would deeply regret it if these messages were misconstrued in any way. We are attempting to give a voice to victims. Hatred for women and exploitation of children is what drives politics all over the world. Men are terrified of the empowerment of women, and children via their mothers. Osmama bin Laden and George Bush are the same guy.

Note: I found an interesting blurb about the super patriot:

[Nugent] claims that 30 days before his draft board physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days, he ingested nothing but Vienna sausages and Pepsi; and a week before his physical, he stopped using bathrooms altogether, virtually living inside pants caked with his own excrement, stained by his urine. Detroit Free Press 1990 via Jesus General

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I'm Pinching Myself

Can you imagine the thrill I experiencd when J__ B___ told me that KSYM has decided to put driftwood in its regular rotation! We are jumping out of our skins. THIS IS THE TIME TO USE ALL CAPS!!! HOLY SHIT!*

I am totally sincere is saying that 90.1 is the soul of Texas Music. There is no greater honor or privilege than to be noticed by 3rd Coast Music Radio. We have been given strength we thought we'd never have. Independent music has never been more threatened by market forces and issues of free speech.

If anyone can see this PLEASE support KSYM who relays entirely on the public. WWW.KSYM.ORG 210-733-2800

Of course we love KSYM listeners and remain humble before your sublime soul power.

God bless you.

*Ironically standards and practices would not allow for several songs to be played because of foul language, misogyny, drugs, and general mayhem. Both parties are frustrated. We will place warnings on the covers of our CD's.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Some people noticed that Ted Nugent played at the inaugural ball, but not many. Nevertheless, the governor who rules with a whopping 31% of the vote thought it would be a blast for his friend, and new Texas neighbor to entertain the chilly throngs.

"Nugent appeared onstage wearing a cut-off T-shirt emblazoned with the sure-to-draw-headlines Confederate flag and shouting some unflattering remarks about non-English speakers, according to people who were in attendance. His props were machine guns. (

His tee-shirt?

How about "wang-dang sweet poon-tang." Or "wango-tango." Or "it feels so sweet when she pulls on my meat"?

"Ted Nugent is a good friend of the governor's. He asked him if he would play at the inaugural. He didn't put any stipulation of what he would play," Black said. He added that "Most people had a really good time and enjoyed the show."

In his speech, Perry extolled the virtues of bipartisanship, compassion for the poor and racial and class unity.

It makes perfect sense to me. I hear Guar is playing at the next Catholic Bishop's Conference, and Slip Knot at the Pinn Oak Charity Horse Show. Of course, some one will have to die.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Buckley Balks at Bush Plan

Well, I got out my Buckley to English Dictionary and have concluded that William F. Buckley has stuck it to the Bush White House again. Check this bit…

A geographical division of Iraq is inevitable. The major players are obvious. It isn't plain how the United States, as an outside party, could play an effective role, let alone one that was decisive, in that national redefinition. And the United States would do well to encourage non-U.S. agents to act as brokers — people with names like Ban Ki-moon.
On the basis of this analysis I will vote against supplementary U.S. involvement in Iraq.

-That’s from The Godfather of Conservatism. When old wise guys like that speak out, I used to hope the administration would take notice. (LBJ “If I’ve lost Walter Cronkite...”)This Bush Cheney Rove outfit wouldn’t bat an eye if Abe Lincoln came back from the dead and challenged their ideology and practices. This might explain the roaring silence of the past five years. Could we blame this on Reagan and his 11th Commandment?

Sunday, January 14, 2007

From the Land of Cheap Anthrax

South Texas has always had its fair-share of strange health emergencies from sharing the border with Mexico. Still, we expect the US to stay free from blights and plagues because people on the border enjoy the same rights as people farther inland. Given the threat of terrorism, the border should be looked after now more than ever.

Somehow the Republicans decided to close down the Health Department and let things roll for awhile. Since they came into power, I've seen recurrences of polio, malaria and tuberculosis, dengue fever, and even berri berri has krept back over the river. Factor in global warming problems, West Nile Virus, St. Louis Encephelitis, Legionairre's Disease and Ebola have entered common use.

And now this (courtesy

Medical professionals in South Texas have identified another disease that has apparently slipped across the border – caused by a rare brain worm that can be fatal and is being spread by unsanitary food-handling practices.

While not yet classified as a "major outbreak," several cases of cysticercosis have been identified in South Texas, a spokesman for San Antonio's Metro Health District told KENS-TV, San Antonio.

According to the Center for Disease Control, cysticercosis is an infection caused by the pork tapeworm, Taenia solium. Infection occurs when the tapeworm larvae are ingested, pass through the intestinal wall and enter the body to form cysticerci, or cysts. The cysts migrate throughout the body, resulting in symptoms that vary depending on whether they lodge in the muscles, the eyes, the brain or spinal cord.

According to the CDC, infection from the tapeworm, which is found worldwide, occurs most often in rural, developing countries with poor hygiene where pigs are allowed to roam freely and eat human feces. This allows the tapeworm infection to be completed and the cycle to continue.

"These eggs hatch in the intestine and go through the gut-wall and into the circulation where they get stuck somewhere," Ostrosky said.

And don't forget:

Cysticercosis joins Morgellons disease, a mysterious infection seemingly similar to one documented 300 years ago, in the list of new illnesses spreading throughout South Texas.

While Morgellons disease has not been known to kill and it doesn't appear to be contagious, WND has reported its horrible symptoms are what worry doctors.

"These people will have like beads of sweat but it's black, black and tarry," Ginger Savely, a nurse practitioner in Austin who has treated a majority of Morgellons patients, told the San Antonio Express-News.

Patients infected with the disease get lesions that never heal.

Fibers removed from facial lesion of 3-year-old boy
"Sometimes little black specks come out of the lesions and sometimes little fibers," said Stephanie Bailey, a Morgellons patient.

It's those different-colored fibers that pop out of the skin that may be the most bizarre symptom of the disease.

More than 100 cases have been reported in South Texas.

"It really has the makings of a horror movie in every way," Savely said.

The South Texas outbreak's proximity to the U.S.-Mexico border comes at a time when the issues of illegal immigration, border security and possible amnesty for over 12 million illegal aliens are being debated in the U.S.

Despite Morgellons disease's distinctive symptoms and patients' tales of suffering, most of the medical community don't see the disease as real, with some doctors telling patients it's all in their head.

Morgellons disease may remain a mystery, but cysticercosis does not.

Doctors say washing hands, cooking meats thoroughly, especially pork, and washing fruits and vegetables are the best ways to avoid the disease.

The best thing to do is to make sure folks on both sides of the river are as healthy as possible. Clean water and sewerage is a start and not that expensive.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

In Pandering We Trust

AUSTIN — The Texas House on Friday adopted rules governing its 80th Legislative Session that inconvenience lawmakers who smoke, favor lobbyists over the general public and put "In God We Trust" on the House electronic message board.
The latter vote was nearly unanimous, 143-2. The dissenters were Rep. Lon Burnam, D-Fort Worth, and Rep. Donna Howard, D-Austin.
Richard Raymond, D-Laredo, said he proposed the idea "to remind us to whom we answer." It would put "In God We Trust" in lights on the electronic message screen that hangs on the wall behind the podium in the House. The slogan would be lit whenever the message screen was not being used to conduct House business.
-Lisa Sandberg, Chronicle Austin Bureau

Here’s a note to the 143 Legislators who need to go back and study the US Constitution:
The statehouse is not a House of God; it is the people’s house. You are there to conduct the people’s business. Spare us your platitudes, and when you’ve finished reading the Constitution, open your Bible and read that part about “Rendering unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and rendering unto God that which is God’s.” And remember, “When you pray, be not like the hypocrites who love to pray standing in their synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen….”

Dear Congressman Lampson,

Congratulations on your election. I must say what an unmitigated pleasure it’s been to take part in removing a corrupt republican and replacing him with a moderate democrat. I would like to have a word with you on the subject of the war in Iraq. Although I was encouraged last year when President Bush commissioned the Baker Hamilton group to seek alternatives to the administration’s disastrous foreign policies, his speech last week showed that he was just going through the motions, much as he did in his diplomatic initiatives leading up to the invasion of Iraq. Worse, rather than working with Iran and Syria to find positive steps towards peace in the region, as suggested by the Iraq Study Group, President Bush has threatened military action against these countries and ordered the John C Stennis Carrier Strike Group into the treacherous Persian Gulf.
Whether these plans stem from dishonesty or ignorance, I say that this president is no longer entitled to the benefit of a doubt. He must not be allowed to cover up a bad adventure with another bad adventure. I urge you in the congress to exercise your constitutional powers to curtail this president’s war powers, cut the purse strings, or impeach this president and vice-president. Up until Wednesday, I agreed with Speaker Pelosi that impeachment would be disruptive and unproductive, and would drag us down to the level of the DeLays and Gingrichs. Now I believe impeachment may be a necessity for world peace, or even human survival.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Wheels with Windows?

I heard just enough of a business story the other day to worry me. The story was about Microsoft licensing Windows to be installed in new automobiles. Do you get where this is going? First I’m wondering if the cars will be so loaded with features and options that they will never reach top speed. Next, I wonder about if I roll through a stop sign or turn left on red, will I get a message saying that the car has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down? Will the car occasionally fail to accelerate, brake, or turn, requiring me to shut down and then restart the car? To shut off the engine, will I push the “start” button? And finally, what happens when the system crashes?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Tread Water

It is nearing time for SXSW. I have expressed my profound cynicism about this institution in the past: payola, log rolling, ring smooching and the like. These things combine to exploit well-meaning kids who are seeking some kind of break, who pay there own expenses, and for the most part, rarely complain.

The sad thing to me is that this has been happening while the industy imploads, with CD sales plummeting. There have been some promising gains from digital downloads which helped a little. However, as recently reported in the LA Times, (,1,3218473.story?ctrack=1&cset=true) "analysts remained skeptical that the industry was in a full turnaround, saying that the torrid growth in digital music sales was slowing."..." some analysts said that the 65% growth in downloads paled in comparison with the 150% rise in digital purchases a year earlier, a sign that the industry could be in for tougher times."

"Digital downloads are growing, but not at a fast enough rate to compensate for a decline in physical sales," said Richard Greenfield, a senior analyst at Pali Research in New York.

Greenfield noted in a report that if digital sales increased by less than 40% in the future, total sales in the industry might fall below even the lackluster 1% growth reported in 2006."

The record companies are struggling to make ends meet with ring-tone sales, and other gimmiktry, in a business that remains flat.

"Although some observers had expected the industry to perform better thanks to downloads, Billboard's Garrity said a lack of a sales decline was itself significant.

Making the switch to completely digital will take awhile, he said, and companies need only stay afloat.

"Tread water is the name of the game these days," he said."

What will we tell the chilren?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Our Lady of Discounts

It is so slow with news of the day, between dead birds in Austin to New Jersey landfill terror, that I have become stultified. This is bad for business. Bloggers are dropping like flies.

Through the fog came this vision.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Plan B from Outer Space

For weeks the news has been that W is about to announce his new Iraq strategy. He called in the grown-ups, the Iraq Study Group to give him something to go on, but they didn’t give him the answers he wanted so he had to go elsewhere for answers.
This reminds me of something I just read in a Donald Westlake novel. Westlake is a trip, he writes crime novels from the point of view of the criminals. Anyways, he discussed the Select Committee for Intelligence, I’ll paraphrase, “you gather all this intelligence, and then you select that which supports the conclusions you already reached.”
It is a matter of public record that this is what the administration did when they were ginning up the Iraq war.
An NPR report the other day suggested that when Bush announces his new strategy, it will sound a lot like a recent report from the American Enterprise Institute’s Frederick Kagan and retired Army General Jack Keane. Here’s some bullet points;
>National Guard units must accept longer tours.
>Transfer equipment from non-deployed Guard and Reserve units.
>Military industry mobilizes to provide replacement equipment.
>Increase reconstruction aid and increase CERP funds.
>Increase ground forces end strength.
>Call for young people to volunteer for armed forces.
>Require a unity of effort from the Iraqi government.
If you think that this sounds reasonable, you’re probably part of the twenty-some percent of the public that still thinks Bush can walk on water. The American Enterprise Institute is home to Cro-Magnon Neo-Cons like Richard Perle, Newt Gingrich, and William Krystol. It’s interesting to go on their website and read the happy bullshit these guys have been writing for the last five years. These dead-enders will give up this snakebit crusade when we pry it from their cold dead fingers.

Patriot Guard Riders

Many of my rants arise from my commute. Happened again today. Driving up the Gulf Fwy on this dark rainy night, I shared the road with a group of bikers, their rides fitted with flagpoles, their colors read “Patriot Guard Riders.” Why does that ring a bell?
I found their website and remembered their story. They are a service group promoting respect for those who serve in the armed forces. Some are vets, some not. Some are hawks, some doves. Some aren’t even bikers. They, at the request of the families of fallen soldiers, attend funeral services to discourage the insane demonstrations of the so-called Reverend Fred Phelps and his family cult, The Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas. Those excrements’ latest trick is to show up at military funerals with their “God Hates Fags” signs, saying that our war dead are God’s punishment of us for allowing homosexuality. The Guard Riders do a valuable service by getting in the face of Phelps and his creepy family. Say a little prayer that the IRS or some other plague put Phelps and his outfit out of business soon. Checking his website, ( along with his usual trash, (Ford and Saddam, both in hell) I see “the truth about Morris Dees and the Southern Poverty Law Center.” This is a hopeful sign, Dees may get his scalp!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Texas Round Up

In lieu of the Chupie report:
A UFO parked over O'Hare airport in Chicago on election day for several minutes before zipping off into the clouds. Everybody saw it, but the FAA and airports officials deny it, but only recently. This news was attended by jokes and clowning. We are not amused. No, they were not stuffing ballots. (

McCall has lent his support to Mr. Pitt for Texas Speaker. How come the MSM is clucking over minor mis-steps by Pelosi and the Dems, but can't seem to notice the Republicans melting down everywhere they still hold power. (

Also in chron, a Houston boy hung himself playing "Let's Lynch Saddam." arrrgh!

The compost mountain in Helotes is still causing air quality warnings after weeks on fire. ( Who would build a 400 ft. compost heap, and why?

Smokers are unhappy with the $1.00 increase on cigaretts, raising cost to about $4.75 per pack. (AP) More on this later.