Zippidy Doo Da

I'm not stupid, I'm from Texas!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Popeye Wins Florida

Florida voters responded to straight talk and Geritol from Senator John McCain to give him a win over his GOP rivals in the winner take all Florida GOP primary. McCain edged Willard Romney, who emphasized his business experience to voters concerned about the economy saying “The Democrats think that America’s greatness stems from its government. It doesn’t. America’s great because of foreign-financed tax-sheltered leveraged buyout firms.”

Meanwhile Jonesboro Massacre vulture and former tobacco shill Mike Huckabee declined to comment, instead waiting to see if McCain’s 95-year-old mother beats up Chuck Norris.

Giuliani a Bridesmaid

The support of Texas Governor Rick “Mr. 38%” Perry failed to put Rudy Giuliani over the top in yesterdays Florida GOP Primary. The cross-dressing serial philanderer is expected to drop out of the race after garnering just over nine-hundred and eleven votes.

Let There Be Rock

We are the sum total of what we are informed. It seems important, therefore, to be careful about what one is informed about, and not so much as to who one lets himself be informed by. "Trust," is for suckers.

There is a mainstream media in that a relative cluster of people own a concentrated amount of press and TV to the point that they are readily identifiable, and share a number of common interests. They rely on a sense of trust for the sake of gathering in repeat customers. Restaurants, for example, can't serve tainted food and hang around for very long, even with large yummy portions. Or can they..?

Fortunately, the search for information finds an abundance of "facts" to chose from, so seemingly naked of varnish, that the informer almost disappears from casual scrutiny. Why should I qualitatively differentiate between a published headline in the National Inquirer telling me that UFO's are flying over Texas verses the same headline in the Houston Chronicle? At this time in my life I'd rather be entertained.

I remember a "study" in recent years claiming chimps have celebrities just like us. Some number of chimpanzees were shown portfolios of other chimpanzees. The scientists noted that the gang lingered with a few photos over and over. And, when presented with a number of pictures of regular humans mixed with "stars," these experimental monkeys also always picked the celebrities, especially Jennifer Aniston.

What happened to make me watch the faces I trust and allow myself to be informed? Everything would be in a state of harmonious equilibrium if it had not of been for the internet.

I got started blogging basically to throw my poo at anybody who would happen past my monkey house. There were other reasons, sure, but I basically was just talking into a mirror. Slowly, over time I have learned a key secret that I think might be at the heart what bloggers are for.

When the New Hampshire election was happening, I was monitoring things using MSNBC. After Iowa, those guys were dogging Hillary Clinton to the point (IMO) of becoming a shrill attack on feminism generally. By doing my usual visits to various blogs I haunt I could see a similar reaction to mine by bloggers who I trust and admire. Returning to the MSNBC gang I saw a hate filled crescendo becoming almost cartoonish in its naked attack upon the woman and not the candidate. Back on the blogs, one could see the worm turning. I felt the vibe. When Hillary won and the MSM forces of evil were beaten back down by their own hubris, I felt like I was part of an event that produced a real time synergy between media, politics, and the collective consciousness of the country.

Blogging is rock and roll. Blogging is Elvis. Rock and Roll is/was real people taking what they have and creating media they want, that speaks to their souls; that speaks the truth; that has no rules, that honors what it is to be human.

The MSM is Sinatra, and modern jazz, and Leonard Bernstein, who create within an orthodoxy and claim power by nature of their discipline.

The monkeys aren't that in to you guys anymore.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

( From Drew Sheneman at the Newark Times Ledger )

-Nuts, can't read this.
The last panel says, "Fiscal irresponsibility got us into this..
Fiscal irresponsilility will get us out."

Monday, January 28, 2008

Battered Spouse Nation: Say Hello to Your Boyfriend.

I want to remind everyone from time to time, especially in light of the terrible press Bill Clinton is receiving for saying what people think anyway, what a staggeringly stupid and tragic abortion of a presidency the resident in thief has wrought.

Literally everything the idiot man-child does is retarded or evil, or both.

Case in point, he loves him some "A Charge to Keep." He wrote a memo to his staff about it in 1995 about the painting:

"The reason I bring this up is that the painting is based upon the Charles Wesley hymn "A Charge to Keep I Have". I am particularly impressed by the second verse of this hymn. The second verse goes like this: "To serve the present age, my calling to fulfill; O may it all my powers engage to do my Master's will"

This is our mission. This verse captures our spirit. […]

When you come into my office, please take a look at the beautiful painting of a horseman determinedly charging up what appears to be a steep and rough trail. This is us. What adds complete life to the painting for me is the message of Charles Wesley that we serve One greater than ourselves."

The "horseman" is a thief, riding to save his life from a determined posse.

Oh God in Heaven! What have we done to offend Ye? If we just say sorry, maybe he'll stop hitting us?

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Sunday, January 27, 2008

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

Some folks have about already spent their economic stimulus package tax rebate checks. I hate to be such a downer, but do the (insert expletive) White House and the (same expletive) Congress think the American people are buying this horseshit? I hope not.

Don’t tell me that you think that borrowing $150 Billion from the Chinese to spread around to people to spend at WalMart buying junk from China is going to improve the US economy. This is nothing but an election year ploy for votes by the same people that put us in this hole in the first place.

Do you enjoy being played for a sucker?

We could enjoy the same (non) effect if we all went out and charged $800 worth of crap on our credit cards and paid it back to the bank plus whatever rapacious interest rate they’re getting. We’d come out ahead that way because we would eventually pay it off. The National Debt, on the other hand is unlikely to ever be retired. Our grandchildren will be paying the vig on these $800 rebates.

There is faint hope that the US Senate will sit on this measure until they can jawbone it to death, as they have much worthy legislation. That’s what they’re good at.

Meanwhile I suggest that we all e-mail our representatives and tell them to stop insulting our intelligence. E-mail is preferable because snail-mail all gets sent to Hades where it is sniffed for anthrax spores before congressional staffers read it months later.

Or maybe just go out in the street with all your neighbors and beat on pots and pans.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Odds n Ends

I wanted to take a moment to mention to you that the weird icon to the left there is a portal into Gawker which features bou cou artists for public perusal, which I hope everyone will enjoy. I'll fix the fuzzy image when their tech support team shows me how. In the meantime, please feel free to look.

Also, the links list is ever expanding, like many things in my life. I have attempted to organize these somewhat, but some things can't be easily characterized in terms of genre. So it goes.

The most aggravating problem I've had with the Bloggers template is the time-delay in posting comments, which I know is a drag for people. I think I have switched the right buttons to make this happen. We'll see...The idea that Judge Hoarse and I screen every comment is nutty. I don't care what people tell us here, and I'm sure Charly feels the same way. Please let us have it right in the kisser.

That is all.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Chupacabra Report

I just had this brainstorm where TV news coverage of the primaries is replaced with monkey knife fights or maybe pay-per-view executions like they have in Bezerkistan.

Crap like this would be probably be more in the public interest than the so-called reporting being done on the upcoming election campaigns.

For example consider Hardball’s “Power rankings” this week that ranked Republican candidates second, third, and fifth when all top three Democratic candidates have drawn more voters than any Republican candidate. I would say that a ranking would have to list them as first, second and third. Do the math, Tweety.

Worse than that, though, is the fact that the corporations that own the networks actually choose which candidates get the public’s attention. Second tier candidates Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich have gone to court for the right to appear in TV debates.

The fact is that network news coverage is colored by a conflict of interest. An 1886 Supreme Court decision, Santa Clara County vs. Southern Pacific Railroad Corporation granted equal protection of the laws to corporations as if they were persons. But the rights of corporations, being more than equal, have come to usurp those of mere mortals.

For example, the First Amendment Rights of corporations allow their speech to be heard by hundreds of millions of Americans countless times daily through commercials, news, and other programming. They decide who wins the name recognition necessary to compete with the well-funded, established candidates, who are funded of course, by those same corporations.

Is it any wonder that candidates who speak out against this supra-constitutional concentration of power in the hands of unelected corporate powers have trouble being heard above all the breaking news about Brittany Spears or Jessica Simpson?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

No Movie for Weenies

'No Country' not entertainment

How is it that movie critics can divorce themselves from the story of a movie and judge a film best picture? No Country for Old Men was so horrible that after I saw it, I wanted my money back, my time back and my brain cleaned of the horrible, gory, violent images! And now it is in contention for best picture? Ugh. This is not entertainment.


-This letter made me laugh, wondering how this poor soul ended up seeing this particular film. Maybe they’re one of many people who select films by noting which actor plays in the lead roles. Perhaps Rabelle here is a fan of Tommy Lee Jones’ work in “Love Story,” or the cheerleader movie “Man of the House.”

My advice to filmgoers is to follow the books. When one of your favorite books is brought to the screen, go see how they’ve done with it. This gets one involved with the film, ready to love or hate it. I remember my excitement upon hearing that Nicholson was going to play Randle McMurphy. Now I’m anxious to see Tom Hanks play Charley Wilson.

“No Country” is from a Cormac McCarthy novel. McCarthy is one of America’s greatest living writers, his stories set in the west over a span of three centuries. His writing is realistic, that is to say, brutal, but he is showing us where we came from, and perhaps where we’re going.

And likewise, I follow directors. The Coen brothers started out with a murder story, and even their lighter fare is dark and twisted. Moviegoers that judge a film by it’s cast or title are bound to be disappointed, sometimes comically so.

They're Running Out of Cup Cakes in Alpha Centauri

What in heck do extraterrestrials want with north-central Texas? I have held off paying any attention to this but they just keep coming. Plus, there are few things more incredulous than Hamilton County resident's views on the existence of people from outer space.

UFO's have visited Texas before, but not very often. It might be the wide open spaces and scant populations in rural areas, but according to folks who track these things (see Texas is the least likely place to see unidentified flying objects. Of course, since Texas was founded as an homicidal lunatics colony (con-men, grifters, religiously insane welcome) one would predict reports of UFO's everywhere. However, this has not been the case. As a result of 270 million registered firearms in Texas, it might be that they'd rather visit someplace else, like Phoenix. Again, what could they possibly be after. Let's take it city by city:

Hico: Famous for delicious pies. 90% white.

Corsicanna: Famous for delicious fruitcakes. 95% white.

Dublin: Famous for delicious Dr. Pepper bottler using pure cane sugar. 99% white.

Stephenville: Famous for delicious giant cow named "Moola" 91% white.

Waco: Famous for delicious crystal meth, there in abundance.

And one other thing: The president lives nearby on a converted pig farm.

Given what we know, I'd say Granny's Old Time Cheesecake Factory in Waxahatchie is doomed.

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

Chupacabra Report

I should expect that if I read George Will on any subject other than baseball he’s gonna get my goat. Hell, even baseball. He’d probably vote Bud Selig into the Hall of Fame, the biggest tool since Bowie Kuhn.

Today he devotes a column to calling John McCain a RINO. Fine George, I know that you folks call your club “the party of Lincoln,” even though your politics are closer to those of King George III.

Will criticizes McCain for attacking the pharmaceutical companies, (taking a stand to defend the wealthy and powerful, a “profile in toadyism”) saying that their profit margins are the reason that we no longer suffer the scourge of Polio.

Excuse me, the interns that write your column may be too young to know that Jonas Salk refused to patent his vaccine, preferring to see it quickly disseminated for the good of all mankind.

Can anyone imagine this happening today? Salk’s research would be owned by whatever multinational corporation sponsored his research, and their business model would turn it into a multi-billion dollar cash cow, which they would proceed to milk for the next twenty years, enriching top executives and preferred shareholders, who no doubt would spend some of this money lobbying for tax breaks and patent extensions.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Institutional Memory

Rarely do I post just to rant or get something off my chest.

There was quite a bit of news action today worth writing reams about. Terrible economic news looks a little better on the color pages of today's newsprint compared to the monochrome of 1929, but the words, phrases used to describe the proportions of the problem are nearly identical to yesteryear, except we can use the term, "we're fucked."

A report today from a Washington DC policy foundation tracked and measured an increasing divide between rich and poor school districts in Texas despite school funding reform. Go figure?! Wow.

Bushco erased a couple of years of e-mails, just to remind he was still a playa. Today he was determined to turn the economy around by giving us a rebate for a family pack of Charmine, and "don't ya dare touch my f-ing tax cuts!"

Of all those things and many other stories today, the thing that got my goat was Obama rhetorically felating Ronald Regan combined with the words of support for this apostacy from purportedly liberal bloggers like Lord Kos.

Ronald Regan presided over the dismantling of the government safety net for the poor, vocational, public health, women's reproductive health, science, art, education, and public infrastructure programs gutted; the largest tax increase in history to that point squarely on the shoulders of working people; secret bargains with terrorists, in controversion of the law for cynical political purposes, were all hall marks of his presidential legacy.

I've had my suspicions about Obama. I think he's a sell out and/or dangerously naive. This bit solidifies my opinion.

Don't go there, guys. It's not worth it.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Chupacabra Report

A big ZDD thanks to guest bloggers Chris Walken and Jimmy “Mr. President” Carter. Please try to clean it up a little next time, guys. You’re liable to scare off both my readers.

Well, Michigan’s had their Jan. 15th Primary Election, and of course the results weren’t quite what I would have hoped for. Turnout ranged from 15 to 20% of the states seven million voters. Turnout on the Democratic side was no doubt depressed because the Democratic National Committee (motto: “getting it wrong since 1828”) pulled all the state’s delegates after the state party moved up their primary date, making the election a meaningless beauty contest between the few candidates that didn’t bail out. Hillary Clinton outpolled “uncommitted” by a vote of 327,000 to 236,000, with Rep. Dennis Kucinich a distant third with 21,000 votes.

On the other side my hope was that after Tuesday, we wouldn’t have Willard Romney to kick around anymore. Oh well. I’m beginning to get used to the idea that he’ll be the Republican Party nominee. They’ll love him over there, he’s rich, pious, and a snake. I cracked up last week when I heard Paul Begala say that the press corps hate him “because he’s such a phony.”

The Republican establishment may fall in with Romney because they hate the other candidates worse. Then we’ll have to tell everybody the truth behind his stories about his business experience with Bain Capital, the offshore company that used tax-sheltered foreign capital to finance leveraged buyouts of US companies whose assets were then stripped, their employees laid off, and were then run into bankruptcy while making millions for the investors.

Bain Capital has bought Clear Channel, a company created by the grace of Congress, a company so big that it has it’s own foreign policy. That’s one outfit I’d like to see run into the ground.

Romney also talks about how he saved the Olympics. Well, the Salt Lake City Olympics may have set Olympic records for bribery and nepotism. But Romney didn’t exactly invent such corruption. Hell, the five- ringed Olympic symbol was fabricated by the Nazis before the Munich games to lend ancient Greek respectability to their bogus cosmology. Nazi archeologists buried, and then “discovered” the artifacts. This makes me think of some golden “mystoglyphs” found in upstate New York in the 19th century.

The Sheetmetal Curtain

I think Duncan Hunter has garnered about "a few more votes than a roll of quarters," to quote the humorist, Stephen Colbert. The Republican candidate, along with others beat the anti-immigrant drum through the campaign, and bragged about their fence building all over free right wing media and had about as big a soap box as anyone movement candidacy could possibly expect. John "Walnuts" McCain's campaign, most identified with "amnesty" for those without green cards was eulogized months ago as anathema to conservative sensibilities, long before any votes were cast.

Xenophobic, chauvinistic, racist fear of brown people, personified by the foaming paranoia and vicious hate of Rudy "9/11" Gulianni, Hunter, and others are seemingly viewed by the public as no more than fringe elements in the dark shadows of the American experience now that three states have voted. Further polling points to a trend in this direction.

Of course I know these guys can show up places to protest where things are perceived to be friendly to Mexicans in numbers varying in sizes from Christian Life pancake breakfasts to Free Republic pro-war rallies; literally dozens. When they have their scooters, oxygen bottles and firearms with them, they can fill up a camera shot, which is all they need. But even harassing people didn't work.

People just aren't filled with hate for their neighbors like they used to be.

And yet:

WASHINGTON - A federal judge has ordered a small border city in Texas to temporarily turn over its land to the federal government so it can begin to build a border fence.

U.S. District Judge Alia Moses Ludlum ordered the city of Eagle Pass, on the border about 100 miles southwest of San Antonio, to "surrender" 233 acres of city-owned land. The Justice Department sued the city for access to the land.

The Homeland Security Department is trying to build 370 miles of border fence by the end of the year. A law signed by President Bush and supported by both of Texas' U.S. senators mandated a total of 700 miles of fence along the border. The government had warned the city, which opposes the fence, it would sue under eminent domain laws to secure access to the property, declaring it is "taking" the property for 180 days. AP

They really are building "The Sheetmetal Curtain." Despite local and international protests, lawsuits, and eventual riots, crime and mad bombers, and even though they know it will be an environmental, political, economic, legal, diplomatic, and cultural disaster, they're really gonna build it.

If people around the country could realize that there really is no such thing as a border down here, and that this has been true since native tejanos were planting beans and melons, maybe an understanding that the country will be hurt by this, along with the rest of us down here would soon follow.

You can't break bonds as strong as la familias y comunidad de norteno with a piece of sheet metal. Not in ten thousand years.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Today's Guest Blogger: Jimmy Carter

Courtesy of The Onion:

I Got What America Needs Right Here

By Jimmy Carter
January 9, 2008 | Issue 44•02
Carter Opinion

Sometimes I'm a little stupid, maybe, a little slow in the head, so I'm wondering if you can help me get something straight. Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. 'Cause, unless I'm missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm, and I have no fucking idea what you're gonna do to get out of it. I mean, are you seriously considering voting for one of these shitbags you got here in '08? Fat fucking chance.

Way I see it, America needs a president who's gonna somehow un-royally screw up the Middle East, do some serious cleaning up after you dropped your pants and took a steaming dump all over the fucking environment, and—boom!—restore dignity, honor, and all that shit to these United States.

See, I got solutions to all your problems—I got 'em right here in my big, hairy ballsack.

You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter's rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again, because there's no way I'm ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs and politely ask you if I might please be a presidential candidate in your precious fuckin' election. So you can just bite my cock. I've had it with you jerkoffs and your jerkoff candidates.

You actually seem to think one a' these assholes is gonna prance in and wave a magic wand and make everything all nice again. Look at you, sitting there like a common fucking schnook and eating all their bull about bi-fucking-partisanship, and how they have all the goddamn answers. Let me tell you something: These fags are dogshit compared to Jimmy fucking Carter, all right? I was arbitrating Mideast crises when this bunch was still sucking on their mamas' titties.

But who comes to me, huh? Fucking nobody. Why ask old Jimmy anything? What the fuck could he know about peace in the Middle East? It's not like he fucking won the Nobel Peace Prize for that shit. You myopic pricks. Back in '79, I sat Sadat and Begin right down and made those two dicklicks shake hands. It was beautiful—I had all the pieces lined up and I smiled and waved in my best fucking suit and tie right there on TV. And what do you do, you pieces of shit? You screw the whole goddamn pooch.


Oh, what's that I hear? The weather's all screwy? You got a global warming problem? Boo-fucking-hoo! I was telling you morons to turn off your lights and unplug all your shit at night to conserve energy in 19-fuckin'-75, for chrissake. Gee, I wonder what woulda happened if we'd all switched to solar power like I fucking did back when we had a fucking chance to do something about it. Think we'd still be sucking Saudi Arabia's dick like a five-dollar whore? I sure as fuck didn't get no fancy Oscar for that little spiel, though, did I? No. But Al Gore, that cum-sucking pig, steals the shit from me and now he's the greatest thing since Jesus Christ made a fucking sandwich.

Well, he can lick my asshole right after George W. Bush, that fuck.

You want compassion? Somebody who's looking out for the little guy? Why don't you take a look at Jimmy Carter, 'cause unlike, oh, every motherfucking candidate out there, he spent the last fucking quarter-century building houses for the homeless. And what does he get for it? A fucking hernia. Some fucking gratitude, you selfish twats. You talk to me about compassion? I'll shove a crucifix so far up the Democrats' asses they'll be asking me to buy them dinner and kiss them good night.

Funny thing about me: I actually fucking know shit! Not like these goombas trying to weasel their way into the White House. I practically wrote the book on collapsing bridges, inflation, and the working poor, fuck-o. I even got a degree in nuclear engineering or some shit. You know how easy I could swoop down right now like a guardian angel and solve all your fucking problems? Snap. Bam. Do it in my fucking sleep. Just fucking try me.

So you want me to run for president again? Yeah, sure, absolutely, I'll do it. I'd be honored to do it—with my fucking dick in your mouth, you worthless scumbags.

You had your chance with Jimmy Carter, and you fucking blew it. So get fucked. Fucking country.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

-Today’s guest editorial is from Newsgroper’s Christopher Walken:

An enlightened populace would presumably push to the forefront the candidacies of Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul, two gentlemen currently serving in the House of Representatives. Kucinich and Paul agree wholeheartedly with respect to foreign policy: they believe we should dissolve our imperial outposts, stop invading countries, abolish torture and close Guantanamo. They also agree that the civil liberties denied to the American people in the post-9/11 hysteria should be reaffirmed.

In a Kucinich/Paul race, we would enjoy boring debates regarding monetary policy and the nature of welfare. We would, of course, miss out on debate gems like “Which of you owns a gun?”

Why the fuck are we asking our Presidential candidates if they can handle the steel? Did we outsource Secret Service duties to Blackwater or something?

With either Kucinich or Paul in office, we would also no longer be trifled with nagging questions like “Is the leader of the fucking free world lying to my fucking face right now? Does he think I am this stupid? Is he right?”
Sounds nice, right?

Regardless of who won this enlightened race, America would win. Whichever horse we bet on would be granted the daunting task of pushing his respective brand of “wacky” socioeconomics through a stagnant congress. And if either Paul’s fiscal conservatism or Kucinich’s borderline socialism actually made it out into the real world and proved to be misguided, then the American middle class would shrink a touch, and the other guy would get to take a stab at it in four years.

Doesn’t this sound slightly little less foreboding than putting our kids in a trillion dollars of Chinese debt just so that they can go off to fight concurrent wars against the Iranians, the Pakistanis, and the Gingerbread Army?

Wake the fuck up, America.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Chupacabra Report

-Cops Want their Dummy Back

LACEY, Wash. — Sure, Trevor was a dummy, but police want him back — and whoever stole the uniformed mannequin from a patrol car could face felony charges.
Trevor, outfitted with sunglasses and a uniform, routinely sat in a Lacey police car for a couple of hours at a time as a reminder to motorists to slow at key places in this town north of the state capital of Olympia. On Friday, police said, the driver's side window was broken and Trevor was nowhere to be found.
The car was out of service this week while the window was being repaired, police Cmdr. John Suessman said.

-Rats Deserting Sinking Ship

Two televangelists have resigned their posts as regents at Oral Roberts University, as the debt-ridden school tries to regroup following a spending scandal involving its former president.
Benny Hinn and I.V. Hilliard have resigned as regents, where they were involved in making major school decisions, university spokesman Jeremy Burton said Thursday. Burton declined to say why the two resigned, but said both wrote the board to express their support for the school's mission.
The resignations come a month after the resignations from the board of regents of two other televangelists, Jesse Duplantis and Creflo Dollar.
Hinn and Dollar are among six televangelists being investigated by Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley to determine if the high-profile preachers violated their organizations' tax-exempt status by living lavishly on the backs of small donors. They have denied wrongdoing.

-45,000 Screwballs and Nuts Hear Pastor Osteen

Republican district attorney candidate Kelly Siegler told a judge last year that members of Houston's Lakewood Church are "screwballs and nuts" and that she works to keep them off of juries.
Siegler made the comment while defending herself from a defense attorney's suggestion that she struck a man from the jury pool in a capital murder case because he is black. It wasn't the man's race that prompted Siegler to eliminate the man from the jury pool, she said. It was the fact that he attends Joel Osteen's megachurch.
"To start with, he's a member of Lakewood Church. And we have had a running agreement, my partner Luci Davidson and I have, since we started, that people who go to Lakewood are screwballs and nuts," Siegler said, according to the court transcript. "I'm very familiar with that church. We try our hardest not to put anybody who goes to Lakewood regularly on any jury, he's a pretty devout member of Lakewood Church. That's one reason that scared me about the man."

Politics Free Zone

Sometimes I forget that most people don't like politics, which have been pretty intense here lately. Certainly, I can't live it everyday because I get too stirred up.

Perhaps we should beat our swords into plowshares and take some time to contemplate the pretty flowers:

Saliva may hold breast cancer alert

Houston researchers are developing a test to diagnose breast cancer from saliva, an advance that eventually should enable dentists and physicians to alert patients during routine office visits.

In a study published Thursday, a team at the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, led by a dentist, reported that specific protein markers in saliva can easily identify people with breast cancer cells, benign tumor cells and healthy cells.

"This will be a noninvasive, quick means of detection," said Dr. Charles Streckfus, a UT-Houston Dental Branch professor of diagnostic sciences who has expertise in molecular epidemiology and salivary function. "With it, dentists will be able to catch cancers before a woman can feel a lump."

Houston Chronicle

I wonder how patient's will feel about this once they have ascended into powerful altered states that include communion with the giant blue aliens from the love dimension, or turning into human letters of the alphabet, consider:

By the Salvia Center

The Mazatec shamans of Mexico use three hallucinogenic plants in their healing rituals. Pharmacologically Salvia Divinorum is the weakest. The method of usage traditionally used by the shamans is a rather inefficient method and implies their under-estimation of salvia's true potency and power.

In low doses it is used as a medicinal herb by the medicine-men, they call it a tonic and believe that it can cure a list of ailments, some physical and some magical. It is generally prescribed as an infusion made from 4 or 5 pairs of leaves.

At higher doses it was used to induce visions through which divinatory messages could be heard. The shamanistic tradition dictates that the voice of the Virgin Mary is channeled through the person using Salvia, but only in total silence and darkness. Only fresh leaves are used for this, whereas dry leaves may be used for the medicinal compound.

According to Gordon Wasson in his 1962 paper on shamanic plants in Mexico, salvia is the Aztec "Pipilitzintzintli", an as then unidentified hallucinogen referenced in ancient texts. This plant was described as "hierba", or herb, and was cultivated in both male and female varieties. Unlike the Mazatec's usage of only the leaves of the salvia plant, records of speak of a rudimentary extraction made from roots, stems and flowers. This plant also was regarded as a divinatory plant, but Wasson also notes examples of it being used as a healing agent.

After all, nothing heals but God and Time. What better way to get better than going to the top - in a space ship! What's that? - sometimes we can't handle "the truth?"

It may look like the kids in the YouTube videos are having fun, but Kathy Chidester is convinced salvia killed her only child. Sixteen-year-old Brett Chidester was a whiz on a skateboard, a straight-A student and the joy of his divorced parents lives. Then he started smoking salvia.

"He got withdrawn within the last couple of months," said his father, Denis Chidester. "And he wouldn't open up like he used to. I figured it was a teenage thing. Boys don't like to talk to their dads."

But Brett's mom did a little digging on his computer and found out he was buying salvia online and smoking it.

"He'd say, 'Mom, it's legal. There's nothing wrong with it. If it was bad it wouldn't be legal,' " Kathy Chidester said.

Brett's mood grew darker and on a cold Monday in January, at his dad's Delaware home, Brett Chidester did what his parents believe salvia drove him to do: he killed himself.

"My life as I knew was over," Kathy Chidester said. "It'll never be the same. He was our light and our life and it's gone."


What a shame. Sound familiar? "____________ killed my teenager!" Nail's mom, whom we are crazy about, used to tell us when we were kids, "some things you shouldn't think about."

Have a nice weekend, everybody.

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Chupacabra Report

Well, the numbers are still looking good to me from New Hampshire, a state where Democratic affiliates are third, with 25%, after Independents with 37%, and Republicans with 36%.

The Democratic primary outdrew the Republican contest 55% to 45%, and the top two Democratic candidates polled better than anybody on the other slate. Exit polls indicated that 60% of Independent voters chose to vote in the Democratic Party primary.

New Hampshire folks took their civic duty pretty seriously too, with over 500,000 of the approximately one million persons eligible to vote exercising their franchise. To get a turnout like that in a Texas primary, Jesus would have to run against Satan.

Yes the numbers look alright, even if the results are not what I would have wished for. I want to like Hillary Clinton, and if she’s nominated, I damn sure will like her, triangulating and all. And if I could pick a Viet Nam war hero to run for president it would be Jim Webb. John McCain strikes me as having sold his soul hoping for the approval of people that will never like him anyway. He surprised me last week when he bragged about his part in sending Jack Abramoff to prison because in my opinion he sat on that investigation when it could have lead to Rove and Bush.

Anyways, it’s only New Hampshire. Next week, Michigan.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

ZDD Live Blog: New Hampsheer!

Of MSNBC. I only have one channel.

5:00 I get home from work, after having observed the MSN reported today the HRC appeared at the Union Leader drunk, with road flares strapped to her body, raving that Chris Matthews had dumped her.

5:11: press roundtable swap stories about what a lousy lay HRC is, and how Clenis should have shelved the ice queen ages ago. Her camel toe is gross, and how she should shoot herself.

5:27: Andrea Mitchell adds from HRC headquarters that her thang stunk.

5:52: Chris Matthews bludgeons De De Meyers with a max lite while Pat Buchannan sits on her stomach.

6:01: Chris Matthews, Timmeh and some old guy fart and brag about how smart they are.

6:09: Rachel Mathow asks whether or not it's fair that the national media should viciously assault feminism on the public airwaves in the heat of a national election. Male guests beat her, smear her with feces and stuff her in a Hefty bag.

6:15: The old man spots a headline in the newspaper that the stock market just fell 900 points.

6:26: Andrea Mitchell complains about the dip.

6:58: The gang cheers and talks about the Patriots.

7:01: The race is even.

more later....

NOTE: I'm giving up. Of course, they knew it all along. Once, again the MSM were right no matter what.

MORNING AFTER NOTE: From Crooks and Liars:

Air America host Rachel Maddow had the best reason why Hillary won: let’s call it The Tweety Effect.

BUCHANAN: My guess is this: the New Hampshire voters said ‘look the press has been telling us Obama is the second coming. We don’t think so. The press has been telling us she’s gone.” And the women came out and said, “no, she’s not.” What New Hampshire did was stand up and body slam the national establishment, the press corps, the pollsters, the whole bunch who came in here as well as Barack Obama’s folks, who must be in a state of shock tonight.

MADDOW: Pat, I will tell you that on the influential-influential, perhaps, on the left-website Talking Points Memo today, you want to know who they’re blaming for women voters breaking for Hillary Clinton over Barack Obama, who they’re blaming for this late showing and a big vote for Hillary Clinton? They’re blaming Chris Matthews. People are citing specifically Chris-not only for his own views but also for…as symbol of what the mainstream media has done to Hillary Clinton.

Jane Hamsher

t's typical of the kind of deference Matthews always shows "manly men" (witness the embarrassing codpiece fealty that Digby has disturbingly chronicled for so long). What's up with that? I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know.

But on cue, this morning, Matthews is back to bashing Clinton as nothing more than somebody's wife. And nobody challenges him, because as Bob Somerby has long argued, when liberal women disagree with Matthews, they're never invited back again. So to the extent that the women on the show aren't a pack of misogynistic vultures themselves (Andrea Mitchell, Maureen Dowd, Kate O'Beirne -- come on down!) and they disagree with Matthews, they're forced to choose between joining in in the festivities or being disappeared.

There are no women hosts on MSNBC who get that kind of tight content control. And that's a problem.

Four words, MSNBC: The Rachel Maddow Show.

Monday, January 07, 2008

ZDD 2008 Predictions

At last:

1. Big suits for men: No more retro stripes and pink ties to make you feel less powerful. Some suits may include a tiny wet bar and wi-fi hook ups.

2. Phalange removal: Ladies having problems with the narrow fit? Your problems are over with this new elective technique from China.

3. Akron Renaissance: Finally, Akron will pass Sandusky as THE place to be in the big O-H.

4. Scottish Cuisine: Who could resist black pudding, Forfar Bridie, Collops, Haggis, Howtowdie with Drappit eggs, Kilmeny Kail, Mince and tatties, Pottit heid, Potted hough? Oh help me, I'm gonna lose my Skirlie!

5. Rosie Odonnell Pregnant: by Ann Coulter-no lie!

6. Virgins: More, (I think). Good or bad? The molten mercury is hazy; I'll ask again later.

7. Jerry Lewis killed by Komodo Dragons while visiting Thailand ophanage

8. UFO's land in Utah: Ron Paul first to emerge from space craft.

9. Homo Erotic Westerns: No longer will we have to privately view grainy Audie Murphy videos. 2008 westerns will be served with a side of chicken!

10. Money: There won't be any, so this is guaranteed to be a hot hot hot item in ‘08

Sunday, January 06, 2008


You might hear me call 'em "pukes"; or "pubes"; or "rewackyacks" or just plain, "degenerate self-loathing closeted republipeds." This might seem mean, but I am openly partisan in favor of anything that opposes evil.

I am merely spitting in the wind against far stronger counterparts, who are successful at manipulating the public by the use of semantics, like the sinister, gravy-stained, Frank Luntz.

Conservative semanticians once were classy and honorable. Take the case of the intellectual giant, S. I. Hawakawa:

"You guys are both saying the same thing. The only reason you're arguing is because you're using different words."

Which brings me to "Democrat." Listen you punks: It's "Democratic."

Hey, nobody likes the pubes incessant use of "Democrat" to describe "Democratic" party operations, institutions, and policy. Starting at the top, preznit Chauncey Gardner uses it in the State of the Union while simultaneously waxing bipartisan. Royal organ grinder, Rush Limpballs, uses the term without exception, and Newt wields it like a bludgeon. And even though they are routinely corrected by sheepish vichy-dems and some in the press as not only inflammatory but also grammatically wrong, they keep doing it and doing it. It makes me mad, but I can take it.

However, I am pissed that my local paper, the Express, OBJECTIVELY uses it as recently as Friday while reporting on the political Larry-Craig-implosion of hillbilly know-nothing Tom Craddick. On page one, "(b)ut several of Craddick's GOP allies face primary election challenges, as do several of his Democrat supporters."


This once OK wretched whore of a newsrag consolidated its Editorial page inside the Metro Section because of declining readership, while keeping their white knuckled death-grip on the sadly unfunny Mallard Filmore.

I got some late news for you wankers: George Bush is as unpopular as body louse. People hate the war. Texas is turning "Democrat" again. GOP wankerism does not sell papers anymore. Let go, grab a tissue, and get to work.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Chupacabra Report

News that gets my goat:

I saw this cartoon from Mike Ramirez today, and sighed. Editorial cartoonists are supposed to question authority, but Ramirez is little more than a cheerleader for the right wing. He works for the conservative Investors Business Daily, and that Rupert Murdoch rag, The New York Post. (Aside: Murdoch once asked the chairman of Bloomingdales why he didn’t run any ads in The Post. He was told that it was “because your readers are my shoplifters.”)

What do you think he’s trying to do here, besides beating the war drum against anybody wearing a burnoose? I suppose that many of the folks that enjoy his cartoons remember Pan Am flight 103, bombed out of the sky over Lockerbie Scotland in 1990, killing all 259 onboard plus 11 people on the ground. How many of them know that the US shot down Iranian Air flight 655 over the strait of Hormuz in 1988, killing 290 men women and children? Or that CIA director William Casey arranged a car bombing in Beirut Lebanon in 1985 that killed 62 people? (but missing the Shiite cleric he was trying to assassinate) These facts may be little known in this country, but you can be sure that they’re well known in every Egyptian prison and Saudi madrasah.

Ramirez’s jingoism does nothing to enlighten us; rather, he promotes acts and attitudes that perpetuate a cycle of violence nearly a century old already.

Chupacabra Report

When it got out that the Harris County District Attorney was sending mash notes to his secretary via e-mail, the Pharisees of the local GOP dropped him like a hot potato, lest he besmirch the whole slate of holy Joe bible- beaters they’re running next fall. The big problem to me is that the county is paying her $75,000 a year and giving her a car to drive and gas to put in it. Here are some excerpts from a couple of great letters to the Chronicle on the subject:

“Regarding Lisa Falkenberg's column on Chuck Rosenthal's political demise, while I agree with her assessment of the Republican Party's internecine cannibalism in the face of shrinking numbers and right-wing bloodletting, Rosenthal is the sole author of his fall.

His apology for being a fallible human being is disingenuous. Would he have shown any compassion for the fallible human beings he so zealously prosecuted? Did he ever show sensitivity to extenuating circumstances, such as mental disease or questionable DNA tests by a discredited crime lab within his purview?

Did Rosenthal think he could bully his way into another term after showing he has different standards for himself and for others? Obviously, he did, considering all his macho posturing until Wednesday.

So the public Puritan is "hoist on his own petard." As Hamlet also almost said, "He did make love to this employment. He is not near my conscience."
Sanctimony coupled with hypocrisy and arrogance gets what it deserves.”


“Now that Harris County will be getting a new district attorney, would it be too much to ask that they require their staff, first and foremost, to ask: "Is this person guilty?" rather than "How can we convict this person?" The difference between the two mind-sets is enormous.

Prosecuting the innocent through any means possible or bullying them into accepting a plea bargain (a common occurrence in misdemeanor cases) in order to clear cases is an all-too-common injustice these days. Ruining the life and finances of an innocent person is never justifiable.”


Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thank You, Iowa

I knew that I’d be up late tonight to hear the results of the Iowa caucuses, and the virtual three way tie on the Democratic side was happy news to me, as I hope for the process to play out until a real winner emerges, ready to whip up on the Tories next November.

I have to wonder what conclusions Time Warner, Disney, Viacom, and News Corp want me to draw from the results because it took me a little while to find the information I was looking for tonight. Finally found it on the UK Guardian site: Republican turnout was less than one half the Democrat’s record 232,000 voters caucusing last night. It’s better than that when you consider that the GOP works with ballots but the Democrats have to assemble, bunch up, count, figure, divide, and regroup for a couple of hours before they get their results, as Texas caucus goers know. (Think Will Rogers’ “I don’t belong to any organized political party, I’m a Democrat.”)

So next week we’ll hear from New Hampshire, a whole new ball game. Their crossover friendly open primary draws a bigger slice of the electorate, a more mainstream sample than the corn fed wingnuts that hold sway in Iowa. Can’t wait to see who the big fish in this small pond turn out to be. You see, I don’t just want my candidates to believe in evolution, I want to see them practice it.