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Glen Beck took time out from crying for his country (His country? probably Assholand) to broadcast the biggest Chuck Norris joke yet. Norris announced that he may run for President of Texas someday.

“That need may be a reality sooner than we think,” Norris later wrote for right-wing blog World Net Daily. “If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

“From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders' vision and government.

“For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"”

-Want to join one of Chuck’s cell groups? Maybe you can end up IN a cell like lunatic separatist Richard McLaren, who capped off his campaign of frivolous lawsuits and liens with a 1997 hostage standoff in Fort Davis that finally landed him in prison. At least he didn’t get all his crazy followers burned up like Vernon Howell did.

As batshit Glenn Beck says on Fox and Clear Channel, “You’ve got to believe in something, even if it’s wrong, believe in it.”

As Steve Martin said, “I believe that robots are stealing my shorts.”