-Today’s guest editorial is from Newsgroper’s Christopher Walken:

An enlightened populace would presumably push to the forefront the candidacies of Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul, two gentlemen currently serving in the House of Representatives. Kucinich and Paul agree wholeheartedly with respect to foreign policy: they believe we should dissolve our imperial outposts, stop invading countries, abolish torture and close Guantanamo. They also agree that the civil liberties denied to the American people in the post-9/11 hysteria should be reaffirmed.

In a Kucinich/Paul race, we would enjoy boring debates regarding monetary policy and the nature of welfare. We would, of course, miss out on debate gems like “Which of you owns a gun?”

Why the fuck are we asking our Presidential candidates if they can handle the steel? Did we outsource Secret Service duties to Blackwater or something?

With either Kucinich or Paul in office, we would also no longer be trifled with nagging questions like “Is the leader of the fucking free world lying to my fucking face right now? Does he think I am this stupid? Is he right?”
Sounds nice, right?

Regardless of who won this enlightened race, America would win. Whichever horse we bet on would be granted the daunting task of pushing his respective brand of “wacky” socioeconomics through a stagnant congress. And if either Paul’s fiscal conservatism or Kucinich’s borderline socialism actually made it out into the real world and proved to be misguided, then the American middle class would shrink a touch, and the other guy would get to take a stab at it in four years.

Doesn’t this sound slightly little less foreboding than putting our kids in a trillion dollars of Chinese debt just so that they can go off to fight concurrent wars against the Iranians, the Pakistanis, and the Gingerbread Army?

Wake the fuck up, America.