ZDD 2008 Predictions

At last:

1. Big suits for men: No more retro stripes and pink ties to make you feel less powerful. Some suits may include a tiny wet bar and wi-fi hook ups.

2. Phalange removal: Ladies having problems with the narrow fit? Your problems are over with this new elective technique from China.

3. Akron Renaissance: Finally, Akron will pass Sandusky as THE place to be in the big O-H.

4. Scottish Cuisine: Who could resist black pudding, Forfar Bridie, Collops, Haggis, Howtowdie with Drappit eggs, Kilmeny Kail, Mince and tatties, Pottit heid, Potted hough? Oh help me, I'm gonna lose my Skirlie!

5. Rosie Odonnell Pregnant: by Ann Coulter-no lie!

6. Virgins: More, (I think). Good or bad? The molten mercury is hazy; I'll ask again later.

7. Jerry Lewis killed by Komodo Dragons while visiting Thailand ophanage

8. UFO's land in Utah: Ron Paul first to emerge from space craft.

9. Homo Erotic Westerns: No longer will we have to privately view grainy Audie Murphy videos. 2008 westerns will be served with a side of chicken!

10. Money: There won't be any, so this is guaranteed to be a hot hot hot item in ‘08