They're Running Out of Cup Cakes in Alpha Centauri

What in heck do extraterrestrials want with north-central Texas? I have held off paying any attention to this but they just keep coming. Plus, there are few things more incredulous than Hamilton County resident's views on the existence of people from outer space.

UFO's have visited Texas before, but not very often. It might be the wide open spaces and scant populations in rural areas, but according to folks who track these things (see rense.com) Texas is the least likely place to see unidentified flying objects. Of course, since Texas was founded as an homicidal lunatics colony (con-men, grifters, religiously insane welcome) one would predict reports of UFO's everywhere. However, this has not been the case. As a result of 270 million registered firearms in Texas, it might be that they'd rather visit someplace else, like Phoenix. Again, what could they possibly be after. Let's take it city by city:

Hico: Famous for delicious pies. 90% white.

Corsicanna: Famous for delicious fruitcakes. 95% white.

Dublin: Famous for delicious Dr. Pepper bottler using pure cane sugar. 99% white.

Stephenville: Famous for delicious giant cow named "Moola" 91% white.

Waco: Famous for delicious crystal meth, there in abundance.

And one other thing: The president lives nearby on a converted pig farm.

Given what we know, I'd say Granny's Old Time Cheesecake Factory in Waxahatchie is doomed.