Chupacabra Report

A big ZDD thanks to guest bloggers Chris Walken and Jimmy “Mr. President” Carter. Please try to clean it up a little next time, guys. You’re liable to scare off both my readers.

Well, Michigan’s had their Jan. 15th Primary Election, and of course the results weren’t quite what I would have hoped for. Turnout ranged from 15 to 20% of the states seven million voters. Turnout on the Democratic side was no doubt depressed because the Democratic National Committee (motto: “getting it wrong since 1828”) pulled all the state’s delegates after the state party moved up their primary date, making the election a meaningless beauty contest between the few candidates that didn’t bail out. Hillary Clinton outpolled “uncommitted” by a vote of 327,000 to 236,000, with Rep. Dennis Kucinich a distant third with 21,000 votes.

On the other side my hope was that after Tuesday, we wouldn’t have Willard Romney to kick around anymore. Oh well. I’m beginning to get used to the idea that he’ll be the Republican Party nominee. They’ll love him over there, he’s rich, pious, and a snake. I cracked up last week when I heard Paul Begala say that the press corps hate him “because he’s such a phony.”

The Republican establishment may fall in with Romney because they hate the other candidates worse. Then we’ll have to tell everybody the truth behind his stories about his business experience with Bain Capital, the offshore company that used tax-sheltered foreign capital to finance leveraged buyouts of US companies whose assets were then stripped, their employees laid off, and were then run into bankruptcy while making millions for the investors.

Bain Capital has bought Clear Channel, a company created by the grace of Congress, a company so big that it has it’s own foreign policy. That’s one outfit I’d like to see run into the ground.

Romney also talks about how he saved the Olympics. Well, the Salt Lake City Olympics may have set Olympic records for bribery and nepotism. But Romney didn’t exactly invent such corruption. Hell, the five- ringed Olympic symbol was fabricated by the Nazis before the Munich games to lend ancient Greek respectability to their bogus cosmology. Nazi archeologists buried, and then “discovered” the artifacts. This makes me think of some golden “mystoglyphs” found in upstate New York in the 19th century.