Ken Lay Inc. Folds

Wall Street reports that Ken Lay, former CEO of Enron Corp. has made a massive catasrophic divestature of his personal corporation, Ken Lay. Ken Lay, once the lion of the energy markets and "one of the smartest guys in the room," had turned in a number of poor performances in recent years which prompted Mr. Lay to pull out of Mr. Lay effectively shutting down essential operations such as breathing and heart activity. Ken Lay does some retain some precious metals and a few water holdings, but too little to efficiently extract.

Having learned powers of deceipt from his Missouri father, a baptist minister, Ken Lay was able to appear to deliver great physical performance from his fledgling corporation's essential processes. These operations were increasingly compromised over time by catered foods, alcohol, expensive meals, low exercise, increased stress, and evil, but a clever sleight of hand and deals with the Devil enabled Ken Lay to inflate his health profile, conceal its burgeoning hyperlipidemia and push his good cholesterol higher and higher. Recent fraud convictions and the prospect of 150 years of decreased revenue caused the Ken Lay illusion to finally expire today after 64 years.

Mr. Lay has aquired rights to four philipino boys or "partnerships" named "Jedi", "Chewco", "LJM1" and "LJM2," which he expects to deliver substantial dirivative dividends by shifting the the wages of sin quarterly.

No comment was forthcoming from Satan regarding Mr. Lays disolution and subsequent reorganization into off-shore entities.