The "Hispanic" Vote

Lately I've been wondering if the old Mark Twain saying, "news of my death is greatly exaggerated," isn't perfect to describe how often I hear about Hillary Clinton's political demise. It's easy for me to see how deliciously cold the pundits are serving up revenge these days. In fact, they make it look so good that a certain piling on effect occurs with folks on the left that are way too young to be holding any grudges from when they were playing Power Rangers in the back yards of America, safe and sound from any attacks by a chubby, hello horny Bill Clinton. Hilariously, Skippy was waving Clinton's catering bill around with a righteous "Je Accuse!"

You see, there are a lot of "fundamentals" that are way out of whack here. For instance, since when is "the young latino vote" who are supposedly politically estranged from their parents, counted on to even exist, much less appear at the polls, even much less to contribute to a landslide as predicted? Every time I am informed in sincerely rendered fashion by supposed professionals about this army of energized and engaged Mexican-American youth, chomping at the bit to come out for Obama along with a big "fuck you!" to tia, mama and abolita, I just have to shrug. Oh, well.

When I was watching TV last night, you know who appeared on the screen with his shiny halo and everything? Henry "Brown Moses" Cisneros. In the words of the bard:

"Dey callin' me BROWN MOSES,
Fo' dat id sho'ly what I am,
Ancient an' re-lij-er-mus
Solemn an' pres-tig-i-mus
Wisdom reekin' outa me
'Long wif summa dis baby pee
'Minds me of dem River Weeds
'N all dem ignint Bible deeds"

He looked none the worse for wear after his involvement in a shocking DC love triangle.

"Growed up in de Pharaoh place,
Lef' de sucker in disgrace!
Some dem boys refuse to loin
Somthin' smokin': Somthin' boin!"

He was calling on all his people to vote for Hillary. Not just commit to vote, hell, vote right now, and gives a number to call for just such a purpose. If not, call anyway; they'll drive you to the polls.

Now lookee here all you pundits, pointy heads and wiseguys, if you live in San Antonio and Henry f-in Cisneros tells you to vote for somebody then you better damn well do it. We'll see if los cholos and their betty's, 50% who dropped out in HS; 50% who had children in their teens; 25% who have no jobs, turn out to vote for the first time in their lives.

Oh, they mean the latino middle class. Right. The ones who voted for Bush last time?