Perry Quotables That Didn't Make News

1. I don't know about you folks in Iowa, but down in Texas, if a man orders a Whopper with mustard, he's liable to be taken out back and anal raped with a lead pipe until he's begging to die;

2. The Secretary of Agriculture, Tom Vilsack can munch on the corn in my stool;

3. Ambassador, Kristie Kelly of the Phillipines, is so fat that when she buys clothes they change the tags to, "one size fits some."

4. Michelle Bachman didn't always look this way. No, Sir. When she ran for congress the first time she was so ugly that when she went in the bank, they'd turn the surveillence cameras off.

5. Josaia Vorege, the Prime Minister of Fiji, can suck my rosey red dick!

6. They tell me that John Bellows, the Assistant Secretary of the Treasury, always smells like B.O.

7. Mary Schapiro, Co-Chair of the SEC?! Baby, I got your Sarbane-Oxley Act right here! (grabs crotch)

8. Mass, St. Patrick's Cathedral: "pooot."