When Life Becomes a Sitcom

I am more skeptical than ever of what I'm informed by the media, and what is taken for granted as the truth with regard to the election. This narrative from punditry and reporters that Iowan's are some kind of highly evolved super-electorate, and therefore the best laboratory for democracy is mythology to me, now that I think about it.

When I worked in restaurants, there was a white guy I once knew from Iowa City, ironically home to Majarishni University and the Emma Goldman Clinic) who in 23 years had never met a black person. Imagine, a society that is 99.9999999% white is chosen, and remains, the spot that selects who will run our multi-racial society? Is that right?

I mean, this is the state that is typified by Dubuque, where there is bar every block, and folks there spend their lives trudging from one to the next, in the snow, until they eventually fall unconscious into a drift. There is even a bar/day care called "Cradle and All" which encourages all the young parent's to pound a boiler-maker while dropping off junior. And a bar/church called "Our Lady of Bitters." Last Sunday's sermon was "remember to use a coaster, please."

Speaking of circles, this is the state that elected the gerbil-faced TV hack, Gopher. I saw him at a meat and greet in a bank lobby. He went round-and-round in the turn style entrance until somebody had to pull him out. At the buffet he stuffed his cheeks with the mixed nuts and scurried under the table. Sheesh! This the state that has elected Charles Grassley every term since reconstruction.

They elected George Bush the last two times, and these are the guys that are the most sophisticated electorate?

I personally don't care who wins the Democratic end of this, since I like and approve of them all. Even Mike Gravel is comforting compared to Bush. He might be crazy, but at least he's not evil and mentally retarded.

However, in the Republican race, you can bet Mike Huckabee will win. He gives out Silly Puddy and shiny toys at all his appearances.

I think we should keep our minds open and our powder dry. Let Iowa be Iowa.