You Know You're a Texan If.. (Vol. III)

The nicest piece of furniture in your house is a gun cabinet.

You've never met a jewish person.

You've got an old can of Butch Wax you can't let go of.

You have tense arguments over bar-b-que.

You buy ammunition at the liquor store.*

You can chart your life through a series of gimme caps.

You think all cowboy hats west of the Pecos and North of the Red are queer-looking.

You have eaten feral hog, possum, snake, havelina, and craw dads but guacamole makes you gag.

You are jealous of your mom's squirrel recipe.

You think all trucks smaller than one ton are girly.


*If you think I'm kidding, please see me for a list of Texas gun/liquor outlets.