Zippidy Doo Da

I'm not stupid, I'm from Texas!

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Marine Report

You may remember the predations of Jean Floche, the mad dolphin that terrorized the French Riviera last summer. Now the crazed cetaceans have opened up a second front in New Zealand. This from the Melbourne Herald Sun….
A WOMAN crushed by a 300kg bottlenose dolphin that jumped into a boat off New Zealand's North Island remains in a critical condition.
Kelly James, 27, whose parents live in Australia, was knocked unconscious and suffered severe chest injuries in the Boxing Day mishap.
Ms James went into cardiac arrest as she was waiting for a helicopter to take her to hospital.
-Something to remember next time you venture into salt water. As Lenny Bruce pointed out, dolphins don’t push drowning people to shore to save them, they just like pushing people around. We just never hear from all the people the dolphins push out to sea.
Why do they hate us? Maybe they hate our freedom. Who knows what they’re saying with their whistling and chattering. And maybe when you see them porpoising, they’re not trying to entertain us, it’s their way of flipping us off. I, for one, intend to eat more tuna. Take that, Flipper.

5 Comments:

At 7:40 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

C'est lui pour toi, Charles Cheval.
Vous etes prochain!

 
At 8:21 PM , Blogger Julia B. said...

See that? Now I'm getting hate mail from fish. If I don't come back from Boliver tomorrow,
call Steve Zissou.

 
At 4:27 PM , Blogger liquiddaddy said...

They say Flipper was a racist and Charlie the Tuna a dear friend of Bob Crane. What are we to make of this under-sea degenerate bent?

LD

 
At 6:00 PM , Blogger Nails said...

I am reminded of the Don Knotts movie "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" for some reason where the milquetoast Henry Limpet experiences his fondest wish and is transformed into a fish. As a talking fish he assists the US Navy in hunting German submarines during World War II.

 
At 7:26 PM , Blogger Julia B. said...

The Prairie Home show was in Hawaii today. They interviewed a dolphin and he was very rude. These used to be loveable creatures, is this phenomenom something that we could blame on the Bush administration?

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home