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Remembering The Captain

Some years ago I took a professional development course and was recalling the instructor being quite an interesting character. He came in to the classroom wearing a captains hat, which he politely removed. He had a gray beard and hair. He wore a belt ringed wth the flags that sailor's use to signal one another, Sperry topsiders deck shoes, of course, and a red and white, wide horizontally striped shirt. He lived full time on a sailboat down on Clear Lake. Occaisonally when he laughed he chuckled like Popeye the sailor man. I am sure that he rehearsed this laugh often, because it sounded very authentic. I will always remember him as "The Captain", whom, considering this was a course in modern technology, was a living anachronism.

I imagined The Captain in a bar down on the wharf, drinking rum with his pals the Gorton's Fisherman, Captain Morgan, and Long John Silver. After getting really good and liquored up while telling tall tales of adventure on the high seas, they stumble down the pier, singing sea chanties, accompanied by the low bellow of a foghorn and the bright clang of a ships bell, disappearing into the sea-misty darkness.

The Captain impressed me so because his identity was so simply crystal clear and larger than life, lacking the vagary and ambiguity so often ssociated with outward appearances. The business executive hiding a larcenous heart behind a double- reasted suit. The person you see once as a girl, but after looking a second time seems to be a boy. The woman who looks beautiful in a real and earthy way sans high heels, a wonder bra and makeup, takes on a super human, other worldly cosmopolitan sheen after an hour or so of preening.

I waited by the door for a short time that day after class because I was curious about one last detail. The Captain soon came out the back door, pulling his cap neatly on his head, reaching into his pocket and producing a pipe, lighting it with a quatrain of vigorous pulls to get the tobacco burning hot. Just as I had expected! What did I learn from the class? The universe, in perfect order, is most certainly immaculate after all.

White Stripes

Did anybody see the mad-crazy chem trails ove SA today? They were sure spraying up a storm. I haven't seen it like that since before the war.

I don't want to tell anybody about chem trails who don't know about it already. It would be like telling somebody that the stork doesn't really deliver babies. All I can say is, "run for your lives," and to read up at www.chemtrailcentral.com

There's No Place Like Home

It is finally raining a good amount today. It is no drought breaker, but it certainly is better than what we've been having lately.

Kinky Friedman really did make a conference call to Ole Moulton Bank on Thursday Night. He is spreading his message of reform and can really speak well on behalf of people who feel they are poorly represented by the current status quo. As a third generation died-in-the-wool big-D Democrat, it is hard for me to endorse not voting in the Primary. But Kinky doesn't get to make it on the ballot unless there is a real low turn out. There is no ticket splitting on the Republican side either. Besides, Bob Gammage is a tool and a dino. See if you can help: www.kinkyfriedman.com

Speaking of crypto-politicians, there is an interesting search in the Piney Woods for the Texas Bigfoot, according to www.mysanantonio.com I had no idea that there even was a Texas Bigfoot, but evidently that's what the Great Cypress Swamp Monster is. Check out www.texasbigfoot.com I always thought most of those stories like "Wild Man of Navasotta" by J. Frank Dobie, and so on, were about runaway slaves; sad and tragic, not scarey, but who knows? By the way, the story about a 12-foot silver-haired wookie shucking corn in Wallsville sounds a lot like Chill Wills on a bender, and I reserve the right to remain skeptical.

Symbolic "Devil Stoning" Turns Deadly

In Mina, Saudi Arabia -
"Muslim pilgrims tripped over luggage while hurrying to ritually stone the devil today, causing a crush that trampled at least 345 people to death in the latest stampede to mar Islam's annual hajj."
I feel bad for these people - they should be able to practice
their ancient and sacred rituals in peace and safety. The Interior Minister said "It was fate destined by God.", but it was the devil that was taking a wicked stoning from a never ending stream of devout pilgrims.

I blame the devil for this one.

"Snake Farm" by Ray Wiley Hubbard?

Er, someone in the band passed my way that Texas Rising Star Magazine reports that the legendary Ray Wiley Hubbard, is releasing his CD "Snake Farm," 4/18/06. He likes to sing his song by the same name while audience chimes in "Oooooooooooo" on cue. Sounds fun.

Ray, we posted the graphics for Snake Farm on our site 3/03 and released the record 7/05. That concept was hatched by me and Nails in 2000. What are the chances of two records by the same name being released within a year of each other?

I challenge you to a duel, sir! Pies at 20 paces.

In the meantime, check out www.funnyjunk.com see "mindreader."

See Driftwood at Super Happy Fun Land

On Sunday, January 8th, starting at 9:00. Come to 2610 Ashland in Houston, (in the Heights).

"Railway Killer," set to die May 10th

Angel Maturino Resendiz is scheduled to die in Texas, May 10, 2006, after exhausting his appeals to the Criminal Court of Appeals, and the Texas 4th Circut Cout of Appeals, (a civil forum). Evidently, his alleged crimes in Mexico factored in to the delayed outcome.

He is alleged to have killed nine people by sneaking in the house, killing, and escaping by hopping the local freight train.

We wrote a song about him called "Train Killer," on the current Snake Farm CD. In part:

"I keep some hair inside some crumpled cellophane.
It smells the same as when it's on yer head.
Reminds of the time I got some scissors, and I cut it off.
When the headlights hit the window I was gone." (C 2005, ASCAP)

Texas Beat

From AP Newswire:

Fires

spread unabated for now. 200,00 acres and 115 homes consumed. Looks like the flame demons have Dallas in their sites. What would Pat Robertson say?

Evidently, Jack Abramoff gave money to every major republican politician in Texas AND Henry Cuellar (D-sell out), but the only guy

giving it back

is poor Henry.

Kinky doesn't mind Carol K.R. Strayhorn joining the race as an independent. "There's plent of room in the

hot tub>

. Tell her to climb on in." "She always seemed pretty spunky to me."

Upshur County WV

It was founded in 1801 by Mr. Morgan who fought in the Revolutionary War. Mr. Upshur was a lawyer who made a name for himself. More Scotch/Irish folks came and made nice communities in the area, like the Clarke's, the Moore's, and the Casto's. They didn't start major coal mine operations until after WWII.

Nobody is crazy about giving their lives for Mr. Hatley's coal co. from Ashland KY. The average per capita income in Upshur Co. is $13,900.00. Per family, it averages less than $26,000.00.

Behold as our great forth estate attempted to rip to pieces one of the tiny remaining parts of what was once great about America, like crazed wolverines. I thought these poor people could not withstand the emotional whiplash inflicted on them by a calous press and opportunistic corporate slim balls. However, the reporters (who aren't fit to tie their shoes) these surviving follks pushed past in disgust, can't take their dignity away, because it ain't for sale. Their pain comes from a place they will never know at CNN, that they can only gawk at in sublime wonderment. Their humanity stems from the deeply rooted faith, family and community, that Fox can only dream about. This spectacle only reminds us how wretched we all are now.

Edit: What Jane says. www.firedoglake.blogspot.com

Carol Keaton Rylander Strayhorn bolts the GOP

The serial divorce is switching to the big "I" in her run for Texas Governor. Her and Kinky should play hell with the primaries. there should be some delicious ticket splitting. Everybody be sure and go out to vote for Kinky, but if you get a chance to give Republicans fits, please feel free to do so.

Ms What's-Her-Face is Scotty "The Liar II" McClellan's mother. Funny how "McClellan" hasn't seemed to make it on to her prodigious masthead.

Texas is Burning

Quite a few have sparked up in Moulton from accidents, mostly. We are buring from Hobbs, NM, Lubbock, to Palo Pinto, Eastland County, up to Sherman, Dallas, down to Crawford for the Brush Monkey and all through East Texas. NOA has some great satellite shots and drought forecast/warnings, stats, etc at www.noaanews.noaa.gov

It seems like everything's on fire. No end in sight. I hope Sammy Ben Laden isn't driving up and down I-35 throwing cigarett butts out the window.

Practice Tonight

At LD studios. Cream of Squash Soup and Porkchops served.

Dos Pachangas hosted New Years' Eve practice at Firehouse Studios that went very well despite drunkus interruptous from Roy the Earl of Hamilton.

Beto Springs soldiered mightily on the drums, the great player that he is.

His likeness is shown below sitting.

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