Zippidy Doo Da

I'm not stupid, I'm from Texas!

Monday, February 06, 2012

Chupacabra Report

News that Gets My Goat..

-Our right-wing nut Attorney General Greg Abbott announced a last minute plan to salvage last years’ Republican gerrymander in time to hold Texas’ March 6th Primary Elections on the April 3rd fall-back date. Problem is; the three-judge Federal Court panel hearing the case has ordered the state to gain approval of all four parties. Abbott has one on board. We may not see elections before the Fourth of July. This may, however, give Texas tories more clout in the crazy race that is the Republican Presidential nominating contest. Take that, Country.

Charles Kuffner has the proposed district maps, this one has me in the new District 36, which could stretch across Galveston Bay and up through East Texas to the Louisiana border. The new district would split my subdivision, ending a mile from my house just short of the public library where I early vote. This is no improvement over my present district, which convicted felon Tom DeLay drew for himself, snaking from the Houston Ship Channel to the Brazos River in Fort Bend county, but at least I wouldn’t have Pete Olson to kick around anymore.

-Keith Olberman’s ‘Worst Person in the World’ today was Louisiana GOP Congressman and Family Physician John Fleming, who took it upon himself to inform all his Facebook friends about Planned Parenthood’s new $8 billion Abortionplex. The 900,000 sq. ft. facility, complete with coffee shops, restaurants, bars and retail outlets, is sized to perform almost a million abortions every month.

Problem here is that Congressman Fleming got this story from “America’s Finest News Source,” The Onion. Congressman Fleming is not the first to be punked by The Onion, but it usually happens in third-world countries like Carjackistan and Elbonia.

-Juanita Jean reports that former U.S. Rep. Mark Neumann, economic stimulus critic and leading Teabagger candidate for Wisconsin’s open Senate seat received over $250,000 in federal stimulus money for his solar energy company and a private school he founded in Phoenix.

“Faced with this seemingly greedy, hypocritical, cantankerous, folly filled fact, Mark Neumann had a very good explanation.

“’Neumann on Thursday argued that because the grant program he benefited from started as a Bush-era tax credit, it shouldn’t be viewed as part of the 2009 economic stimulus law signed by President Barack Obama.’

“Oh, so it’s okay if Bush did it but not if Obama did it.”

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