Alberto Gonzales Gets a Job

Texas Tech University Chancellor Kent Hance confirmed Tuesday that former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales will teach a course at Tech next fall.

Anonymous sources in the Department of Neuroscience say that Gonzales will teach classes on the encoding, storage, and retrieval of memories.

This is a funny turnabout for long-time George W. Bush mouthpiece Gonzales as Kent Hance is the only man to ever successfully beat Bush in an election. He did it in 1978 in the Texas 19th Congressional District by telling voters that Bush was not a real Texan, and by plastering the windshields of tee totaling Texas churchgoers with phony invitations to a Bush campaign beer blast. Bush said afterwards that he wasn’t going to be out-Christianed or out-good-old-boyed again.

Hance switched to the Republican Party in 1985, after seeing Phil Gramm parlay his party-jump into a U.S. Senate seat in 1984. After running unsuccessfully several times for higher office, he was appointed to the Tech position by the Rick Perry appointed Board of Regents in 2006.