Just Imagine Him Without Pants

Newt Gingrich is flogging another crappy book and so he’s all over the television this week. Not just on Faux with those other crooks and losers like Tom DeLay and Ollie North, he’s everywhere whining about Speaker Pelosi torturing people. I hope you don’t buy books by crooks. Hell, when I go to the library and see books by Newt or DeLay I want to hurl them into the trash before they hurt somebody but I don’t want the system to buy replacement copies. Next time I think I’ll just find a better place to shelve them, like in the 100’s with titles on abnormal psychology, or kleptomania.

Next time you hear about Newt being a party leader, or presidential candidate, remember:

That he married his high-school math teacher. She put him through college. When he decided to divorce her, he went to the hospital where she was being treated for cancer and gave her the news.

That while the House Republicans were impeaching Bill Clinton over sex, Newt was screwing a staffer twenty years his junior.

That he cheated on wife #1 with wife #2.

That he cheated on wife #2 with wife #3.

That he was fined $300,000 for violating House rules and lying to the Ethics Committee. He paid the fine out of his campaign account.

-Heck, I hope the Republicans do run him for president.