Headline News?

The U S Coast Guard captured Francisco Javier Arrelano-Felix,
leader of the Tijuana drug cartel, off Baja California yesterday.
“We feel like we’ve taken the head off the snake,” said Michael Braun,
a Drug Enforcement Administration agent. “We’ve got this brutal
organization in a chokehold, and we’re not letting up.”
Braun later celebrated by ascending in a hot air balloon, fueled by
$50 billion in burning greenbacks.
“I’m going up, up, up!” he exclaimed. “I’ve got gravity by the throat, and I’m never coming down.”