Chupacabra Report

News that Gets My Goat:

After another election season where people invited me to leave the country because I didn’t agree with their opinions, I would like to share a letter that appeared in today’s Chronicle. Generally, I’d be happy if “love it or leave it” had gone away with George Wallace’s harangues against “pointy-headed intellectuals;” but it is fun to see it turned around.


“We're still No. 1

“Regarding "A divided nation stays with Obama" (Page A1, Wednesday), many of my friends and neighbors have expressed a wish to move elsewhere following the election. I have heard Canada as a suggestion - but they are just like us, with a government-run healthcare and a multicultural population.

“Here are my suggestions: If you are concerned about the size of the federal government, move to Somalia. They have the smallest federal government in the world. No bloated bureaucracy there! It's Ayn Rand's philosophy, lived out to the fullest.

“If you are concerned about government's role in healthcare, move to Haiti. I was just there on a mission trip, and I can assure you that government has no role in healthcare in that country.

“If you are upset about having elections, move to North Korea. You'll never have to worry about an election again.

“If you are simply upset that your candidate lost the election, move to Russia. They have fake elections there, where the conservative party always wins.

“As for me, I will continue to proudly reside in the United States of America, the richest, best and most diverse country the world has ever known!”

-Jason Metcalf- Lindenburger, Seabrook